so many cookies

This was a lot of fun.

Sarah and I made lots and lots of shortbread cookies last night. We added crushed pistachios to some and orange zest to others. We made batches of cream cheese frosting with vanilla bean and other batches with raspberry juice (which we extracted ourselves from fresh berries), using different amounts to create different shades of pink. The raspberry frosting on the orange shortbread was delicious! 

Normally when I bake, I like to be alone. I like to concentrate on what I am doing and that way am able to really get into my own space and mind. It is more of a creative and personal process, which is very valuable to me. I also usually prefer to make more "sophisticated" desserts - I like the challenge, and when it comes out perfectly, I find that I am even more proud of it and of myself. However doing simple things like these (shortbread is so easy) with a friend is so much fun; especially when creativity is called for. We were each decorating the cookies in our own way and loved what the other came up with. There then was a bit of daydreaming going on, about birthday cakes and special orders, business ideas and possibilities...

Just maybe! Who knows. 

I have to - want to - get through pastry school first, though. I want to know all of the tricks and the secrets. I want to know all there is to know. I want the expertise, the refined and magic touch!

pen palling

My sweet girl Anastasia was telling me how discontented she is with the weather in Southern Oregon, so while out with Kai and Asher that morning, I collected some lambs ear and rosebuds off of the sidewalk. I sent the flora in hopes of delivering some signs of spring to the snowy valley of Medford. I am not sure if they will arrive still pink and lively, but for sure the lambs ear will be soft and nice to rub between her fingers. That is one of the best ways I have found to soothe myself. 

I paid my uncle a visit this afternoon. The team of trauma doctors agreed he was stable and well enough for surgery, after which they moved him out of the ICU. He was very tired today and feeling quite frustrated by his current co-dependency, but at least we know he is going to get better from now on. He cannot bear any weight on his left side for six weeks, so I plan to visit him regularly and tend to him as much as I can. I have some hope that by the time those six weeks are up, spring will be here and he will be able to go outdoors and enjoy a - most likely short - but nice walk. Until then, perhaps he could use a nice bunch of lambs ear for soothing, too. 

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. My family and I appreciate it so much.

bed time

There are times such as these that are often looked over in a normal day to day routine that I have found myself missing. I am so glad to have technology at my fingertips. I think it's easy for us to forget how amazing it really is. Thanks to video chat, Sissy and I can get ready for bed together and wish each other sweet dreams from opposite coasts. 

an unfortunate event

Uncle Lew with me & Ashley.

It is nearly 4:00 in the morning. My hair smells sterile, like latex and hand sanitizer. I just returned home from the ER at Harborview where I spent the past five hours with my uncle Lewis. He was in a bad skiing accident (he says he ping-ponged between trees for 30 yards) this morning and as a result has six broken ribs, a fractured hip and possibly other complications. He will be going into surgery tomorrow morning to repair his hip. He will also need hand surgery; the bone snapped out of his right index finger. He seems to be doing okay; even from his hospital bed where he is braced and taped and tubed, he was sending me light-hearted emails from his blackberry before I arrived. I think he is in a lot of pain - but he is a tough guy and doesn't let on. I might be more nervous about this if it weren't for the team taking care of him. He is being very well cared for of by a large array of great doctors and especially by his very attentive nurse (not the young blonde he was hoping for, but rather a very funny and friendly male who at least I was able to enjoy). 

I completely love and adore my uncle. Being the first grandchild, niece, etc. born into my family, I naturally got a lot of attention - but I have very specific and fond memories of my uncle Lew. As I have become an adult he has made a great effort to spend time with me, get to know me and understand me for who I am now and as an individual apart from our family. Our time together is so incredibly special to me. He is always full of great stories, wisdom and laughter. Not only does he have a big heart and a great mind, he has an exceptional aesthetic. He wears Filson and drives an 80's model Porsche Targa and old Volkswagen van. He still listens to Cream and George Harrison. He makes a great pie and is the most enthusiastic consumer of my own baked goods. He has a tendency to call and leave a voicemail that simply poses the question, "Hey! Where's my cake?!" and nothing else. Undoubtedly, he is the coolest guy I know.  I often feel like I am being handed this very special privilege to not only be his niece, but be his friend. He is someone that I could not imagine my life without. As a child he was a hero to me (all of my mom's siblings were) and even still, he remains one.

So, please, please please - heal quickly, sweet Unc! I still have so many cakes and pies to make that you must test, and you have yet to take me camping in your Vanagon. 

Please be sending your positive thoughts, get well vibes, prayers, etc. in his direction. And if anybody knows of the most perfect lemon meringue pie recipe, do please send it my way. It was his one perpetual request throughout the whole night and I plan to bake one and deliver it to him as soon as possible. 

agnes martin

Gratitude, 2001

Untitled, 2004

Untitled #21, 2002

work

I wish I could live in this room amongst all of those beautiful flowers! These images fill me with such longing for days when flowers bloom. I wish warm weather would hurry up and get here. I hope Punxsutawney Phil was right last week when he predicted an early spring.

There are other pictures (from the site where the above came from) that make me wish I had more time in the day to be creative and get my hands dirty; whether that be with butter and flour, paint or soil.


Images from The Makers via Fanny Bostrom.

sidenotes

I have been scrubbing my face with sugar per my friend Julia's recommendation. Skin is so soft and I imagine probably a bit sweet! Ooh!

Mustering some strength this afternoon, I was able to make the one and a half block journey to the grocery store. I bought some bread and jam, after spending all of yesterday not being able to eat a thing yet wanting toast so badly. Toast is the cure to all ailments. My mother taught me this.

Also, just heard that my little brother is moving to Virginia. Errggh.

a full weekend

I have been bedridden for the past 36 hours with some type of unkind virus, and now am writing from bed still not feeling top notch just yet. I was so proud of myself for getting through most of the winter without coming down with anything, especially since I work with children who are constantly coughing, sniffling and sneezing. 

The first half of my weekend was quite lovely. Caitlin's birthday was on Friday, so at her request I made her favorite cake (probably my favorite, too) and threw a nice little two person party in my living room. I made some grey (her favorite color) fringy streamers and hung them in the entry way in an attempt to really birthday-up the place. If I could have hung more, I would! We spent the afternoon sipping chamomile tea and noshing on cake. I had a wonderful time. I think she did, too. 

On Saturday, Sarah and I went to the paper store (I needed to stock up on supplies for Little Dipper). Then we made a delicious brunch of sauteed leeks, onion, mushrooms and apple chicken sausage all wrapped up in some fresh eggs from her parent's chickens. We also threw together some yogurt parfaits with strawberries, honey and crushed pistachios; three of my favorite things. While I wrapped etsy orders, we watched a movie, Cryus - which was not what I had expected it to be, but still sweet and a little funny/weird. That evening, Skye came over ("This - being the picture of him wearing my sweater - better not show up on some blog somewhere." Sorry, pal - you asked for it!) for a bit, and we went to his friend Andrew's show together. I had not heard Andrew's band, Heatwarmer, before - but they were really very, very good. I would have to say that their recordings don't accurately capture how great they actually are. Everybody at the show was clearly there for them, they knew all of the songs by heart and sang along and danced to each one. So although I couldn't participate, it was a lot of fun to watch everyone else having such a great time. Then... I got home around 2am and suddenly was very ill. I'm not sure where this virus came from - but it's not pretty! 

I slept all day yesterday, and when I could stay awake long enough I would watch a Woody Allen movie. I have been trying to watch all of them, as I hadn't seen many until recently. I started watching Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex - but shortly into it, I had to turn it off. The best part of that movie were all of the pink eared bunnies at the beginning. Sometimes I like Wood Allen's films, and other times I really can't stand them. 

Writing this was fairly exhausting. Back to bed I go. 

my boys

These two boys brighten my days and lighten my heart. Thinking of September, when my job as their nanny will come to an end, makes my stomach ache. I've decided that nothing can be better than this. Everything about this job is fulfilling and enriching. The truth is, it doesn't feel like a job; it never has. I feel lucky to do what I do, and I am starting to panic a little bit, wondering what I will do without them. 

slumber party

Sometimes there are small magic moments such as this. 

My dear not-so-faraway friends, let's have sleepovers in my small studio more often.