20 April 2011

this is all I need

I stayed with the boys all day today - meaning, I was with them for 12 hours rather than the usual 8. We had our usual fun, went on our usual walk, had snacks at our usual cafe, played hide-and-seek, went on our usual imaginary vacations to California and Hawaii, sang our usual lullabies ("Harvest Moon", "Till There Was You", "Baby Mine") and did our usual post nap time snuggling on the couch. After Asher was in bed this evening, Kai and I played cars. My arms, shoulders and head acted as hills until we built a "really awesome" jump out of books on the coffee table. 

Then there was a moment when Kai tilted his head, put his hand on my knee and said, "I really, really love you, Ah-yee." Ooh, my heart strings.

September is getting closer every day, and I seriously don't know how I'm going to cope with being apart from him. This tiny boy has me wrapped around his finger in a way that no other guy ever has.


  1. aww.. so sweet! I know exactly how you feel.. if it makes you feel any better the special bond between the little boy I used to nanny for and me is still as strong as ever - even though we live on different sides of the atlantic now and only see each other once or twice a year. some bonds are just too strong to be broken. I hope it will be like that for you and Kai as well. And memories of those special times will always stay with you!

  2. I think what I fear the most is losing him, and losing that close connection that we have. I'm also terrified that he'll forget who I am. However I know that I won't let that happen, because I will continue to see him and make sure he is a regular part of my life. I just can't even begin imagine how the past three years of my life would have been without him, and therefore can't fathom a future without him.

    So, hearing about your experiences are so encouraging to me. It's so nice that you understand all of this nanny business! It's such a bigger deal than I think some realize.

  3. again I know what you mean.. and it is sad to lose that close connection, but i'm sure you'll develope a different kind of relationship with him that will be great as well.
    memories of nap time snuggles with my little man are still some of my happiest memories. And while I often think that it's just really sad that I can never go back to that time, I'm so grateful to have had those wonderful experiences - as I'm sure you are :)