29 December 2008

home again

I have been on a much needed vacation that as long as it was, did not last long enough. Especially after hearing on the radio this morning that many European countries get anywhere from 4 to 5 weeks of paid vacation! It snowed more in Seattle than I think it ever has in decades. For me, that resulted in four paid snow days plus a weekend which equals a lot of fun! Ashley and I tromped around the Hill for six days, drinking hot chocolate, spending time with friends and cuddling up with good books and movies.

On Tuesday afternoon, my family and I left for Medford. Seeing the family was just fine, but being with Anastasia restored me. We had gone so long without seeing each other (9 months), that after a while, she just started to seem like a dream or distant memory. When I heard a small knock on my grandma's door, I flung it open, threw my arms around her and cried, “You’re real!” We held hands and took a walk at 1am in the pouring rain through the graveyard. We were cold and soaked and it was wonderful.

I am so in love with my friend. She is so beautiful and precious and sweet. She makes me laugh so hard and we can be the silliest girls and not care what anyone else thinks. The past five days have been full of long walks, good talks, dancing, cuddling and dumb jokes.Anastasia was meant for me. She is the friend that I never had and always needed. My soul feels full when I am with her. It is so unlike any other friendship I have ever had before.

I saw my other friends, Brette, Evan, Thom, Kate, Joel, David & Chelsea, too, but mostly spent my time at Anastasia and Nate's house. We didn't do anything, really, just sat around, laughed, talked, sang, danced and snuggled on the couch. It's funny how mine and Anastasia's friendship sounds like the perfect love affair, which I suppose it is, only in friendship form.

It was so hard to leave yesterday. I realized while driving home yesterday that I did not miss my life in Seattle for a second while I was gone. There were people and friends that I thought about and missed, but the rare connection I have with my friends there is unlike any other I've had throughout my entire life. Anastasia described being around one another as magical. She feels like something spcecial is happening whenever all of us are together. Sometimes I wonder why it took us so long to find each other, considering we were so near to one another ever since childhood.

So, now I am home and back to real life. Real life is definitely an accurate way of describing it, since for me being with Anastasia and my other dear friends feels nothing less than how she described it, as magical, special and very much like a dream.

I am at work (nannying) as I write this. This is Baby Kai, he is napping right now. He has changed so much since I last saw him two weeks ago! I missed him very much. He has become so much stronger and more aware of the world around him. He looks around instead of staring at me, kicks his legs, stands pretty easily when I hold him up and has started to feel more like a sturdy baby, rather than a soft little pudding boy. He is absolutely darling. I have completely fallen in love with him. I love little babies, but also cannot wait until he has grown, can go on walks with me and have conversations. We are going to have so much fun together.

19 December 2008

snow day no. 2

Yesterday, Ashley in the snow. More here!

I was putting on my boots and was about to step outside when Kate called and told me to stay home. A second snow day! Now I am cozy and once again tucked away in bed.

Yesterday Ashley and I spent the day together. It was so nice, I haven't seen her in what seems like a month. It was our first chance to spend time together in a very long time. It tends to be that way fairly often, unfortunately.

We woke up to the snow and I danced around the apartment with much excitement. Ash made fun of me and told our mother over the phone that I was acting like an overstimulated puppy. We bundled up, went shopping for more appropriate snow attire, went home, re-bundled up and then walked to 15th for hot chocolate at Victrola. We tried to read our books for a while, but it was so loud and busy that I got too distracted and couldn't concentrate. So we went to the grocery, bought a few treats and went home.

We made homemade macaroni and cheese from scratch, (which we ate too much of and both had tummy aches later) watched "Horton Hears a Who" (we wanted "Home Alone" but the magical movie box was all out) and worked on Christmas decorations... The very same decorations that I started on over a month ago and never finished. That's pretty typical. Since I don't have anything to do until 5pm, I am going to devote myself to finishing those today. But first, I am going to take a nice snoozey.

I love snow days.

15 December 2008

the magician's book

I am going to start reading this tomorrow. When baby Kai sleeps, I have nothing to do!

very best

Sophi & Gramma play a tune - Christmas 2005.

Last night, my whole family (on my Mom's side) got together and celebrated Christmas since we will be visiting my Dad's side of the family in Medford this year.

It was nothing like Christmases past. There was no kolachi, no sweet rolls or tea rings. There were no presents and no tree. Initially I felt very sad. How could Christmas be Christmas without a tree and pretty gifts piled beneath it? My daddy had us all sit around the fire, and explained that since we could not afford to give gifts this year, instead our gifts would be to pray for each other as a family. All of us have been facing hardships that are not easy to overcome. So we prayed for jobs to be found, homes to be kept, hearts to be healed, health to be held, peace to be present and for joy to always be abounding, even in our darkest moments. My sweet grandma held my hand tight, praying that my pain would melt away and my heart would be restored, after all of the hurt, confusion and despair I have been through this year. There was not one single cheek without tears streaming down them. Even my youngest cousins who are only 8 and 6 were so moved that they too cried. My family is so very special and we have always been close, but last night there was a closeness I had never felt with them before. Without the beautiful distractions of presents, lights and the tree, we were able to focus on the things that really matter.

I am so lucky.

Without a doubt, this was my very most favorite Christmas.

11 December 2008


Cathy wrote a song about me and our magical December day two years ago. I cried while listening to it. I am not so sure I deserve something so sweet, but I must say that right now, I needed her kindness. You can listen to it here and the lyrics are below.

by Cathy Tang/Macmacmac
I've been dreaming of this lovely scene
we're singing by the Christmas tree
your smile, so warm and breathtaking
the stars are talking, can you hear?

ride on a merry-go-round with me
our laughters will jingle in a spin
your eyes, so blue and so starlit
this night's a cuddly baby blanket

la la la ......

come with me

sailing across the sea, I will be
blowing sunlights to all your misty dreams
December snow is not that freezing
as long as you're here with me

09 December 2008

04 December 2008

something good

There will be sunshine in Seattle tomorrow. My beautiful friends are coming to town.

Sleepover number four (I think?).

They always find a way to lighten my heart and put a smile on my face.

number five

How many times can a person have their spirit crushed and their heart broken?

I am so tired.

02 December 2008

take me away

My world is falling apart. My home is not my home.

01 December 2008

tonight I learned something

Now, more than ever. I want to marry a man like my father.

29 November 2008

any time

Being single is okay, but it would be nice to be somebody's special someone on cold winter days.

26 November 2008

my teeth hurt

I think I have cavities. I should go to the dentist, but I really don't like it there.

I can't sleep, so I was going to try and finish a drawing I'm doing for my friends, but I got fed up and frustrated. So I stopped.

"Well. About how I'm not nearly as good at the things I wish I were. That I feel like I'm good at a lot of things but not really, really good at just one. And about how that confuses me and I don't know what I want to do with myself or my life. Which makes me just ultimately not want to do anything, and just enjoy everyone else who does the things I wish I were much better at instead."

That is what I just said, when asked what I was thinking about.

I am very confused right now. I am missing Macy a lot. I think if I could just cuddle with her right now, everything would be okay.

I was clicking... click, click, click, click... and found her stuff. That is some really neat stuff.

I would like to go away for a while.

I am sounding a little crazy.

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

24 November 2008


I have an idea. It's a really good one.

paper chains

More Christmas decorations!

On Wednesday, if I don't have to work, I'm going to my parent's house to make a pumpkin cheesecake and an apple pie for Thanksgiving. I'm in charge of dessert again this year. I'm excited to spend the day in my mom's kitchen.

18 November 2008

creating christmas

I spent my morning painting Christmas balls and sketching out my ideas for the decorations that I'm going to make for my first Christmas in my own home. I am so excited to get everything up and finished. I'm going to surprise my sister and put all of the decorations up while she's gone one day, so that when she comes home, she'll find that our apartment has been transformed into a cozy winter wonderland!

Tomorrow I am going to leave the city and spend some time in my parent's back yard (the woods). I'm going to spend the day digging in the dirt, collecting twigs, pine cones and rocks. Yesterday I bought a huge bouquet of dried flowers from Pike Place to use, too. I'm so antsy to get everything finished - I wish I could just do it all right now! But instead, I must bundle up and walk down town to work.

16 November 2008

coconut cupcakes

I made these last night for my work Holiday party at Anthro today. I think they are quite possibly the best cupcakes I've ever tasted. I couldn't stop eating the frosting!

Here is the recipe if you would like to try them.

Coconut Cupcakes

3/4 pound (3 sticks) unsalted butter - at room temperature
2 cups sugar
5 extra large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract
3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
14 ounces sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat oven to 325.

Cream butter & sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. With mixer on low, add eggs one at a time, scraping down the bowl. Add vanilla & almond extracts, mix well.

In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In 3 parts, alternately add dry ingredients and buttermilk into the batter - beginning and ending with dry. Mix until just combined. Fold in 7 ounces of the shredded coconut.

Line muffin pan with paper liners. Fill each to the top with batter.

Bake 20-25 minutes. Cool in pan for about 15 minutes.

Frost and sprinkle with remaining coconut.


1 pound (2 cups) cream cheese - at room temperature
3/4 pound (3 sticks) unsalted butter - at room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract
1/2 pound (1 cup) confectioners sugar - sifted.

Beat together all ingredients, adding the sugar last.

Barack & Michelle are going to be on 60 Minutes tonight, but because of the party, I'm going to miss it! I wish I was caught up with the rest of the world when it comes to current television technology. I suppose I'll have to youtube it.

14 November 2008

jelly fish

I love this. I was so inspired by coe and waito's special projects. I wish I could somehow mimic all of these things to decorate my apartment.

09 November 2008

all smiles

Happy days are here again.

07 November 2008

before bed

It's been two days, and already I am getting plenty of job offers. I received three phone calls today! I can breathe.

And because there is a very strong chance I will be employed again soon, I splurged a little. Look what will be coming for me in the mail next week!

This does not look like something I would normally carry around (expensive labels, I mean), but it's a special thing for a very special time.

05 November 2008

yes we did

This morning when I got out of bed, I felt like a little girl on Christmas. I have this feeling of hope and excitement for our country and its people. I am so proud of what we accomplished yesterday.

Last night I cried, shouted and celebrated in the streets with thousands of other strangers. It was a night I am never going to forget for the rest of my life. I felt like I belong to a great Nation for the first time.We are a part of something huge. This is amazing.

Today is a new day!


04 November 2008


I voted for Obama today and as I filled in the little circle, I felt so proud and excited. I almost cried on the way home. I have been following this campaign for a year and a half now. I can't believe it's all almost over!

Now I am baking cupcakes for my guests that will be coming over later for my little Election party. I'm watching the news and as of right now, Obama has 3 electoral votes, and McCain has 8. I'm trying not to get too nervous...

I lost my job today, because my nanny mom got laid off. I am a little scared and unsure about what I'm going to do about this. Anthro keeps cutting hours - so much, in fact, that I only was scheduled for two 4 hour shifts this week. So, financially, things are not looking good for me.

Without sounding negative, I would like to say that this year has been very shitty. I don't take the good things that have happened for granted, but overall - the bad has outweighed the good. If Obama wins this Presidential Election, I will have hope that 2009 will be a much better year.

24 October 2008

no, no, no

I just received this email from my dad.

Hey Aly darling,

I don’t know if Mom told you, but the two ladies with the Pomeranian dog up the street came to the door yesterday. They heard about Macy. They wanted to know the symptoms because their dog has been acting strange and they took it to a vet to get a toxology test. They had not gotten the results as of yesterday. Mom said the dog was very calm and docile which is not what that dog is usually like. I hope someone in the neighborhood is not doing this.

There's a man in our neighborhood who once took photographs of all the neighborhood dogs and has threatened people before...

I can't come up with a single word to explain how this is making me feel.

21 October 2008

perfect pup

I was in the middle of getting my hair cut today, when I found out that my puppy, my best friend, was suddenly very sick and would have to be put down. The vet said that they think she must have gotten into antifreeze, which is extremely poisonous. By the time I got to her, she was almost gone... I buried my face in her neck and petted her and held on to her until they put her down.

Macy was the perfect friend. It may seem strange to some people, but she was so much more to me than a pet. She comforted me at some of the lowest, heartbreaking points in my life. She slept with me and cuddled with me when I was terribly lonely and sad. She made me laugh and we would have so much fun together. She had so much personality, was such a happy, loving, healthy, kind dog. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She never barked (unless she was saying hello or protecting us) and she never bit. The only time she ever nipped at me was when I tried to get her to wear a sweater. I told her I was sorry and promised I would never try to do that again.

She was truly a huge blessing in my life over the last 8 years, but especially this past one. I don't know what I would have done without her. There are so many wonderful memories that I will never forget, and I'm so glad for those - but right now, I'm so sad. I've lost so many things I love this year. I don't understand why she had to die now. I don't understand the purpose in it. It's not fair.

I'd give anything to get her back.

19 October 2008


Look at all those empty hangers...


Edit: A friend of mine said that I'm being too vague. He said, "People will just think that you bought too many hangers." So, just to clear it up, what I'm trying to point out is that I have very little to wear. I feel tired, bored and dull. My wardrobe is dwindling because I have to sell clothes in order to have money for food to eat. I have never had this few articles of clothing hanging in my closet before.

My sister pointed out it could be a lot worse - and she's right. However, being a poor artist is not as glamorous as I thought it would be. Come the end of October, which is very quickly approaching, I will be done with this project that I've been working on for months, and I will finally be able to bill for my work. That will be very good.

14 October 2008

snuggling sisters

I love my sister. We have spent the past five days together watching movie after movie, full seasons of Seinfeld and The Office, eating milkshakes, soup, yogurt, mashed sweet potatoes, and any other soft food you can think of that one can manage to eat after having oral surgery. I am so glad and fortunate to have a little sister that I can spend so much time with and enjoy every moment.

Today was a perfectly beautiful fall day. Crisp and sunny. I love bundling up and walking around. Sammy came over and we had high tea at Remedy Teas on 15th. It was a wonderful surprise to find something here that compared with Tea & Sympathy in New York. We stuffed ourselves with tea sandwiches, scones, cookies and truffles. I've been so excited about it all day that I want to go back tomorrow... but, I won't. We also went shopping and I finally treated myself to a winter coat and shoes that don't have holes in them.

I illustrated another shirt for my friends. It's the same idea as the one I drew of Evan, but it's a girl instead. I discovered these really precious photos on flickr earlier today. They're a German family's photographs dating all the way back to the mid-forties. They gave me so many great ideas and now I'm really inspired to draw all kinds of things, so I'm going to start some new illustrations tomorrow.

I went for a late dinner with Rachel at Chez Gaudy tonight. Stuffed myself again. She told me about a private school (pre-k through kindergarden) that she's been working/teaching at. There are three different campuses, and the main one is only a few blocks from where I live. She said that if I wanted to, I could probably get a job there since I have a lot of childcare experience. They have art classes and she said they would probably love ot have me as an art teacher/specialist, or something. I think that sounds like so much fun.

I've had a lot of new ideas pop into my head recently about what I want to do with myself/my life. I feel like my future is so big and so unpredictable. It's very scary, but exciting. I think 2009 is going to be another year of big changes and new opportunities. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm glad 2008 is getting close to an end. I'm definitely ready to be out with the old, and in with the new... on so many levels.

12 October 2008

looking forward

I have had the last 3 days off to help take care of my sister. She had her wisdom teeth taken out on Friday, so I've been staying home & watching lots of movies and eating lots of mushy foods. She has to go to school tomorrow, but I have the day off - again - so I am going to be productive.

I worked this morning at the cafe, so afterward I went to Value Village - which has become my Sunday ritual. I finally found a bedside table - which now, I'm actually thinking will stay in the living room.

I plan on painting it and buying some hardware for the drawer. I just can't decide quite yet what I'm going to do exactly. I figure I should pick out the hardware first, and then decide how I'll paint it. I think I'll walk down to work (Anthro) in the morning and pick a few things out. I kind of like the bird knobs we have, or the pulls that look like branches.

I also still have a little set of drawers I need to work on. It needs painting, too and I'm also going to cover the fronts of the drawers in some paper I bought. It has silhouettes of nursery rhymes on it - like Mother Goose and Jack & Jill.

Hopefully I'll accomplish both of these things tomorrow. I also need to finish up some Parson Red Heads illustrations.

Busy, busy bee.

Ashley & I went out to lunch with my brothers today. My dad met up with us a little later. After we ate, we went to see the Fremont Troll. David expressed interest in seeing it - I guess neither he or Daniel had ever seen it before. Sort of funny to randomly do something so touristy. The boys found it amusing for about five minutes and then they got bored. It was really nice to be with the whole family (almost). I miss them a lot.

I haven't seen much of my family recently. It's making me very impatient for the holidays to get here. I want to spend time with them... And eat lots of good food. I can't wait to bake all of my favorite Christmas cookies and desserts with Gramma again this year. I love helping her with Christmas morning breakfast, too. Baked apples, kolache, tea rings, cinnamon rolls! Mmmm.

I can't believe it's only almost midnight. It feels like it should be so much later. Probably because I've been up since 5am and did a lot today.

I think I will join my chipmunk (her cheeks are so chubby!) sister now and go to sleep.

07 October 2008


There's nothing like a night of Trophy Cupcakes, my Uncle's company & Presidential debates.

I wish I could enjoy evenings like this more often.

06 October 2008


Chloé is back and it's beautiful. I was very anxiously awaiting the SS09 line & I am so happy. The color palette is my favorite. I use the same one all the time in my illustrations. It's so pretty & perfect. These are just a few of my favorites.

03 October 2008


I was sent home 3 hours early from work today for something like the fifth time over the past week. Everyone is scared about the economy right now, so nobody is shopping, which means we're super slow and therefore everyone's hours get cut. This is not good for me at all. It's making me feel a bit nervous.

I have been spending some time re-developing characters for my current freelance project. I don't like what I started out with so I decided to go in a bright Edward Gorey/Tim Burton-ish direction. This is what it has turned into so far.

It doesn't look much like what I would normally do, but I tried to keep elements of her similar to what I have illustrated before simply so that I felt like it was still me.

I'm sleepy and to be perfectly honest, I've been in a rotten mood all day. Remember how I mentioned earlier that I'm trying to be good at being alone? It's not getting any easier. I finally got to see my sister for the first time in 3 days but not until 8:30 tonight. We went grocery shopping & then she went straight to bed. I miss her. We never get to have any fun any more.

I think this old grump needs to get into bed herself.

Ps. I really miss my friends.

28 September 2008

amedeo modigliani

I have fallen in love with this artist - all thanks to Peggi. She has had one of a woman holding a chicken hanging on her wall for a long time. I just finished scanning a bunch of his work from books. I'm going to frame them and put them up in my living room.

I am working a lot, and am being very productive when I am not. I have been inspired by a lot of things lately, which makes me very happy. I love it when my head is so full of ideas that I can't sit still. That's when I feel the most like myself.

27 September 2008

goodbye paul

I am so sad that he died. He was a really good man.

20 September 2008

unfinished house

I have found myself wanting to be simple. Live simply. Draw simply. Dress simply. Eat, think, breathe, drink, speak simply.

I'm trying to get better at being alone. I mean that in the sense of sitting at home by myself without visits from friends or phone calls. It's kind of hard to do. I used to think I was good at alone-ness. However, I realized recently that growing up in a family of 6 hardly prepares you for being a good alone person.

It is very grey and rainy today. Some of the tallest buildings are hiding in the fog. Fall is here and I am glad.

18 September 2008

skinny minny

This was me on May 3, 2008. I'd like to look like that again.

I went to the H&M that opened down town today. It was really disappointing. I bought a scarf, & that's it. Last fall, everything at H&M looked like the Chloe runway and it was wonderful. Now everything looks like Avril Lavine.

It is time to get my portfolio together - and I'm going to make it look beautiful! I am going to set up an interview for the visuals position at Anthro soon. I've talked to everyone on the team about it except for the manager. He intimidates me a bit and I am nervous!

10 September 2008

poor evan...

He has birds stuck in his hair and little houses growing out of his head.

I drew this for a Parson Red Heads t-shirt. If you want one, I'm assuming you will eventually be able to order one here.

05 September 2008

good morning

I woke up this morning at 6:45am to make my sister breakfast before she had to go to work. I made pancakes from scratch and used some of the blueberries I picked with Peggi a few weeks ago. They were very yummy!

As we were enjoying our early morning breakfast together, I spilled a little bit of my orange juice. It splattered on the table and turned out to look a lot like a chicken.

03 September 2008

frog in my throat

I've been meaning to write for so long, but I've been so busy that I just haven't had the time. I've been going non-stop for the past two weeks, most days working two jobs - sometimes three if you count the work I put in on my most recent contract job. As a result, I now have a really bad cold. This is the exact same pattern of last winter.

Speaking of which, I can hardly believe it's almost been a year since then. 2008 is going by so quickly, it's kind of freaking me out.

Now, all of the things I've wanted to talk about.

I spent last week helping the visuals team at Anthro with little things - like paper mache-ing bowls, painting houses on big white canvases and wrapping and knotting strips of different colored fabric around wires to make tree roots. I had burns and blisters on my fingers from hot glue guns and paint in my ears but I didn't care, I couldn't have been happier. I'd really like to be on the visuals team someday - so I'll do whatever I can for now until that day might come.

I went to Bumbershoot on Saturday with Ashley. We walked there and met up with our friends after they played. The Walkmen were so good. Without that performance, it wouldn't have been worth it to go. Although, I did enjoy the funnel cake and chocolate dipped strawberries almost as much!

My friends Gena & Charlie got married in Portland on Sunday. I brought my friend Kassi with me as my date. We left early and spent the day walking around the city, drinking lots of coffee and shopping. It felt like a mini-vacation in a way. I remembered how much I like Portland and got excited about the tentative plans I have to move there (or maybe L.A.) next Spring. I would do anything to get out of Seattle for a while.

The wedding was so much fun. All of my friends are scattered up and down the West Coast - some in Portland, some in Southern Oregon, some in L.A. So for all of us to be in one place at the same time was absolutely wonderful - especially because we were all gathered for such a special day. There was a photo booth at the venue they were married in, so all of us took full advantage... Some more than others. By the time I had to leave, Evan had the standing record of being in 11 photos. It almost feels like a dream to me now. I really didn't want to leave. I honestly think that wedding could have lasted for weeks - months even - and we would have all been totally okay with that.

21 August 2008

rainy play day

more here!

My friend Stephen was here visiting from England for a week. It was so great having him here. He never fails to make me laugh and cheer me up - even if it is at my own expense, which it typically is!

On Sunday we had a family picnic for my cousin Andrew's birthday (the little one on the right). He turned 10 years old. It was so wonderful to spend the day with my family. After the picnic, we had the boys come over to our place for a sleep over. They absolutely love Stephen and have so much fun with him. We played hide & seek (not an easy game in a one bedroom apartment), we wrestled, had pillow fights and ate lots of popsicles. We went to Top Pot the next morning for breakfast (we bribed them into bed with promises of donuts). It was a cloudy day, which is something we haven't seen for weeks in Seattle. We decided to take a walk to the park and splash in the puddles. We played on the swings and slides and teeter totters and tossed a frisbee until it was pouring down rain. We got soaking wet but it was great. For lunch we made toasted cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup. We all bundled up in blankets and watched The Munsters on DVD.

We had so much fun together. It made me forget for a while about everything else going on in my head and in my heart. A much needed dreamy day and mental vacation from reality.

10 August 2008


This is amazing.

ELTZ castle
Originally uploaded by FrizzText

07 August 2008

summertime snoozies

I love hot summer afternoon naps. Sometimes they last for hours. These are other memories I want to keep - just like the cheese & crackers one I posted a few weeks ago.

Mine & Ashley's friend Stephen flew in from London last night. We took him to the train station early this morning. He's going to visit friends in Portland for a week and then will come back to stay with us for six days. I miss him so much already! It's a good thing he's coming back so soon. He's so easy to have fun with. We're always really silly together and laugh a lot.

Our apartment is still very hot, even though the sun has set and we have had fans on all day. It's making me sleepy. Time for bed.

05 August 2008

sweet dreams

I went blueberry picking with Peggi on Sunday. It was so fun and relaxing. I loved ducking through the rows of blueberry bushes, getting twigs and leaves stuck in my hair, and feeling the excitement of discovering a bunch of ripe berries hiding on the very tippy tops. Peggi and I talked while we picked at first, but then started wandering in our own directions. I thought thoughts and sang songs and sometimes just stood there and pretended I was all alone in my own little blueberry forest. I would like to take a blanket out there sometime, find a hidden place to nestle up in and take a long nap, or maybe build a little home amongst the berries and live there.

I am very sleepy today. I had really vivid, strange dreams last night that involved large, billowing purple and turquoise storm clouds, flying horses, the end of the world, and some of the people in my life that I love most. I woke up early to meet my friend Evan for coffee. He told me about his family vacation to the coast of Maine where they stayed at a place that used to be girl scout camp in the early 1900s. He said all they did was sleep, read, do puzzles, sail and swim. It reminded me of my family vacations to Cannon Beach and Lake Crescent. We used to do those very same things every summer. I really miss times like those. I wish it was easier to coordinate and plan things like that still, but it's hard now that we're all growing up, have jobs and bills and other priorities. I would give anything to be able to escape right now with my parents, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles, my little cousins and my dear grandma. It would be so dreamy.

I'm going to take a nap now, and pretend that the cars driving down the 5 just outside my window are actually the sounds of the waves crashing at the ocean.

29 July 2008

hollice time

(more here.)

We have fun.

23 July 2008

come back

My precious friends were here for one night. What a tease. It was so wonderful to see them. We had a big sleep over on the living room floor of my apartment. Gena, Brette and I had girl talk time which was much needed. Evan, Eric and Charlie played dress-up in my 'Narnia Closet'. They made me laugh harder than I have laughed in a long time. This morning we had a big, delicious breakfast at Portage Bay - and then we had to say goodbye. I was so sad to see them go. It seems that we never get enough time together. They are all such delightful people. Whenever I am separated from them it feels like a piece of my heart goes with them. I wish we could all just live together in a big house in the country and play, sing and laugh together all day long.

They will be back on August 26th to play another show.

One month, one month, one month.

11 July 2008

july 9 2008

Beautiful birthday puppy!

My family all came over to celebrate my birthday on Wednesday. I told them I didn't need any gifts, I just wanted them to bring Macy. I miss her all the time so much.

We had salmon sandwiches and my mom made a delicious banana cake with cream cheese frosting. Macy discovered an old coconut in the bushes, which was a little bizarre. Andrew and Nathan cracked it open to find old, curdled coconut milk. I didn't know that was possible!

me & dad.

Macy spent the night and we had a little city adventure the next day. She's never done that before, so it was very exciting! She had a lot of fun seeing all of the different people and playing in parks she'd never seen before. Tae met up with us at Cal Anderson and we met a lot of other Capitol Hill doggies. I realized how socially awkward she is when it comes to other animals. She clearly is more of a "people person" and loves human attention, but doesn't have a clue how to get along with other dogs. I'm sure we can attribute that to her growing up in a home with 6 other people and no other pets.

I really didn't want to take her home today. She is my ray of sunshine, but my little apartment is no place for a dog like Macy.

10 July 2008

july 10, 1985

You were born on this day - and if that had never happened, my life would be a lot less full and wonderful. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long, long time. I love you, I love you, I love you. And I love that we are getting old together so close in time to one another. I think that's just another sign that we were meant to be.

Happy birthday, my dear, sweet, beautiful friend. The world is fortunate to have you in it.

ps. This is my 100th entry.

07 July 2008


Birthday cake candles.

I had a very happy birthday. I have wonderful friends and the very best sister a girl could ask for.

03 July 2008

sunshine quilt

I just woke up from a long nap. The sun is starting to set and is reflecting bright pinks and oranges on the Seattle skyline. There are people outside barbecuing and I am jealous. Their laughter and chatting is what woke me up. I am so hungry, but we don't have much food. Maybe they would let me join them.

Today I made blueberry scones, cleaned my apartment and rearranged all of the furniture. When I finished, I realized I liked it better the way it was before - so I moved it all back. I met Rachel for coffee which was great because I haven't seen her in so long. Then I looked up more recipes for my birthday cake. I'm trying to find the best one there is. I also found recipes and ideas for snacks for my party... like strawberries dipped in chocolate and crushed pistachios!

Peggi's mom fixed my quilt for me. It is so pretty and I love it. It's so bright and makes my room feel much nicer. I hung pictures on the wall by my bed today of Pattie Boyd, Michelle Phillips, Francoise Hardy and Joni Mitchell. There's still a lot to do in here but it looks a little bit better.

Working at Anthropologie is great but also frustrating at the same time. I stand in there all day long looking at all of the beautiful and darling things I want for my own home - and I get lots of great ideas - but I can't afford any of them! Not yet, at least.

I think that if I were ever to be one of the Visual Managers for an Anthropologie, it would be my dream job. They have the most fun! All day they paper-maché and build flowers out of paper and snowflakes out of straws and construct all of the beautiful things they come up with in their minds. Then once a year they get flown to foreign lands for "Inspiration Trips" where they are meant to come up with new ideas for the windows and displays in the stores. I want that job. It sounds amazing. They are looking for visual interns right now - but you can't work there and be an intern at the same time, so that would be a problem for me. I definitely want to look into doing it in the future though.

Right now, aside from my growling tummy, life feels dreamy.

02 July 2008

more changes

New job, more new friends, a crush (which was totally unexpected but so wonderful to be feeling this way again... I never thought that day would come! I had forgotten what butterflies felt like!), new artistic opportunities... And soon, a new year in my life. I'll be 24 on Sunday. That sounds so old to me... I can't believe I'm in my mid-twenties now.

To touch on my new job situation... I bailed out on Nordstrom. I knew I'd be unhappy if I went through with that. On Monday morning last week I walked into Anthropologie, applied, handed my application to the manager and she asked me to come back that afternoon for an interview. I was hired the next day and started two days later! So far it's a lot of fun and very easy. I get to play on walkie talkies all day and throw around all kinds of retail lingo. I often feel like I'm on some sort of important secret mission. The pay isn't very good - but I'd rather be really poor and happy than a little bit poor and unhappy. Plus, the discounts are awesome. It has been difficult to get back into the habit of having a job. It was so nice not having to work for a while. I'll definitely miss that lifestyle.

The weather has been so great this week. It was a little too hot for me last weekend, but I'll take that over rain clouds when it's supposed to be summertime. I love being able to wear my short shorts and little dresses again. I've had a bunch of great summer day moments so far. One of my favorites was when I went to the beach with Kelly and her boyfriend Ted. Ted has a little baby sailboat that Kelly refers to as his toy sailboat. They took it out on the water while I sat on the grass and ate snacks. I had on an all white dress and had it gotten wet, which it would have, then that would've been slightly embarrassing. So I stayed dry on land. I wish I'd had my camera - but I guess I just wasn't very prepared that day, so I took a picture with the camera on my phone.