no, no, no

I just received this email from my dad.

Hey Aly darling,

I don’t know if Mom told you, but the two ladies with the Pomeranian dog up the street came to the door yesterday. They heard about Macy. They wanted to know the symptoms because their dog has been acting strange and they took it to a vet to get a toxology test. They had not gotten the results as of yesterday. Mom said the dog was very calm and docile which is not what that dog is usually like. I hope someone in the neighborhood is not doing this.

There's a man in our neighborhood who once took photographs of all the neighborhood dogs and has threatened people before...

I can't come up with a single word to explain how this is making me feel.

perfect pup

I was in the middle of getting my hair cut today, when I found out that my puppy, my best friend, was suddenly very sick and would have to be put down. The vet said that they think she must have gotten into antifreeze, which is extremely poisonous. By the time I got to her, she was almost gone... I buried my face in her neck and petted her and held on to her until they put her down.

Macy was the perfect friend. It may seem strange to some people, but she was so much more to me than a pet. She comforted me at some of the lowest, heartbreaking points in my life. She slept with me and cuddled with me when I was terribly lonely and sad. She made me laugh and we would have so much fun together. She had so much personality, was such a happy, loving, healthy, kind dog. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She never barked (unless she was saying hello or protecting us) and she never bit. The only time she ever nipped at me was when I tried to get her to wear a sweater. I told her I was sorry and promised I would never try to do that again.


She was truly a huge blessing in my life over the last 8 years, but especially this past one. I don't know what I would have done without her. There are so many wonderful memories that I will never forget, and I'm so glad for those - but right now, I'm so sad. I've lost so many things I love this year. I don't understand why she had to die now. I don't understand the purpose in it. It's not fair.


I'd give anything to get her back.