I was in the middle of getting my hair cut today, when I found out that my puppy, my best friend, was suddenly very sick and would have to be put down. The vet said that they think she must have gotten into antifreeze, which is extremely poisonous. By the time I got to her, she was almost gone... I buried my face in her neck and petted her and held on to her until they put her down.
Macy was the perfect friend. It may seem strange to some people, but she was so much more to me than a pet. She comforted me at some of the lowest, heartbreaking points in my life. She slept with me and cuddled with me when I was terribly lonely and sad. She made me laugh and we would have so much fun together. She had so much personality, was such a happy, loving, healthy, kind dog. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She never barked (unless she was saying hello or protecting us) and she never bit. The only time she ever nipped at me was when I tried to get her to wear a sweater. I told her I was sorry and promised I would never try to do that again.
She was truly a huge blessing in my life over the last 8 years, but especially this past one. I don't know what I would have done without her. There are so many wonderful memories that I will never forget, and I'm so glad for those - but right now, I'm so sad. I've lost so many things I love this year. I don't understand why she had to die now. I don't understand the purpose in it. It's not fair.
I'd give anything to get her back.
I wrote a comment earlier and Blogger was down & deleted it. It pretty much said that this post broke my heart, and it's harder for me to lost animals than people, most of the time. I'm so sorry, Aly. Wish I could do something...
ReplyDeleteThanks Johanna... it's comforting to know that you understand how hard it is.
ReplyDeleteMacy was so special to me. When I moved into my apartment, I put up a picture of her on my fridge. I saw it tonight and completely fell apart. I haven't had much time to grieve... I've had to work because I just simply can't afford not to - so sometimes it just hits me.
I can't believe she's gone... It just doesn't seem real.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I don't think your close relationship with Macy was strange at all. Sure, we can't speak with them and hold conversations, but they always know when we're happy or sad and we know the same with them. I've always been closer with my pets than I've been with some people. They're there through it all and see you at your worst. Especially dogs. They let you hug them until you're ok.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you got to her before she had to leave, and I'm sure she'll remember that always.
Dogs really are special. I have had two cats in my life, and although I loved them, I never felt the connection I had with Macy. She loved unconditionally and she would let me hug her and hold on to her forever, just like you said. She never pulled away.
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