30 June 2011
Here I am, stress eating a watermelon.
After making my incredibly public announcement the other night, I laid awake in bed in a complete panic. Moving to New York is no longer a fantasy whispered over great distances between my sister and I - it's a reality now, and as soon as I said it out loud I started to have my doubts. Do I really want to lose my beautiful apartment? Won't I go crazy without having my own space? When will I ever get to be alone!?* Am I going to regret leaving all of my wonderful friends? And my family? What will I do without my beloved Gramma!?
All of these things are very real and very valid questions to be asking myself. However important all of them are to me, I know that I cannot and should not let them keep me here. I love my family and friends more than anything - but they will forever be close to my heart no matter where I am. I should also remind myself of the handful of friends, including my sister, that are already abiding in the big city. I won't be isolated or lonely, and that is certainly a great comfort.
All doubts aside, this will be an adventure that I am excited to embark on. The unknown of what's ahead makes my heart quicken. Thank you to all of you for your sweet and encouraging words! I am so looking forward to the possibility of the new friendships that could blossom from this little spot on the internet.
*I paused for a moment after fretting over this one in particular and puffed up with pride, for this concern came to me so naturally and quickly. Certainly not something that would have crossed my mind, or that I would have valued so deeply many months ago. I sure hope this new quality/ability cannot be lost! I've worked so hard to acquire it.
On a completely unrelated note...
He did it!