13 March 2008


Today has been... well, I don't know what to say about it. It's been like a mini emotional roller coaster. It's had several ups and downs.

One "down" worth mentioning... I just got home and read an email regarding the Xbox project. Not completely bad news, but not the best. Although they seem to "love" my work, they want to explore other styles as options for the project. They are going to pay me about half of what they had originally told me, test out other artists, and then if they choose me after all, I will get paid the rest of the money.

I'm pretty bummed, but not crushed. I am just so grateful to have been given this opportunity in the first place. The biggest disappointment is that the money I was counting on earning from this would have been enough to get me moved out and have rent easily paid for for at least 4 to 5 months. So, if this does end up being the end of the road for me, then I'll have to find a better day job, which is not something I was planning on having to do at all. I really like where I'm working right now, too, and I don't want to find something else. Everything seemed so promising until this week. I don't know for sure yet though, anyway, so I'm not really worrying about it too much. The upside is, now I know for sure that I can go on my trip down to Ashland/Medford to see my family and then down to LA with Anastasia & Nate. Yesterday that wasn't looking so promising and I was pretty disappointed about that. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving and I miss her so much.

One "up" (but also slightly a "down") worth mentioning... Christiana called me from Singapore today. There were problems with John's visa, and they aren't letting him leave the country for about another week. They've already been stuck there for three days and are staying at a hotel near the airport. I'm a little concerned and I wish I could help somehow, but there really is nothing I can do except hope that they get home to Jakarta safely. It made me so happy to hear her sweet little voice on the other end of the phone. John spoke to me for a little while and said that she had been begging him to let her call me all week. :) He said, "She's really taken to you, don't ask me why!" haha, thanks...

Then, when I got home I found a letter on the table in our entry way addressed to me. It was from Christiana - I'm a little curious as to why she didn't mention it on the phone. She mailed it to me the day that they left. I strategically saved it to read after the Xbox email because I was sort of expecting bad news, and I knew her letter would cheer me up. It was so cute and funny - how children's letters usually are. This is what she wrote:

For Aly :) best Penpal's

Dear Aly,

How are you doing today? What are you doing? I'm going to miss you when I go to Jacarta. :) But that's okay, because we are penpals. :) And penpals can always write letters to each other alot. What is your favorite color? I keep on thinking your favorite color is blue light blue. Can you send the silly pictures we took? thanks :). Have you wached wheel of Fortune before? If you have the chanel 04 that's great, because at 7:00PM it's on :D. It's about when pepol guess letters and try to solve the sentence.

Love, Chris

It's so weird to me how she mentioned that she feels like my favorite color is probably light blue. I've never really had a favorite color - kind of like how I've never had a favorite flower - but for some reason I have always associated that color with myself, and so have many other people I've known. I'm not sure why or if that means something - but I just thought it was interesting how she picked up on that.

I don't know if it seems strange to other people how much I care about her, and in a way it is a little odd to me how much she has grown to mean so much to me in a fairly short amount of time. But I don't know... I guess I just know, without a doubt, that this is an extremely important period in my life - and I guess the fact that she was brought into it during this time gives me the feeling that there's something big about this. There's just something in me that feels like she is a very important, special little girl who was put in a certain spot at a very specific time in order for the two of us to come together. I have always been a big believer that things happen for a reason. I guess I just feel this connection with her... Almost as if she could be my little sister, or something. It's so hard for me to explain but I just feel like, as weird as it sounds, I've been "called" to her, and vice versa. Like, I need her and she needs me. If that makes any sense...?


Here I am again at 1:00 AM, wide awake when I should be fast asleep. I shouldn't have taken that six hour nap today! My sleeping schedule is so messed up.

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