18 September 2011

W E E K     O F    W O N D E R




I am feeling a crazy mix of emotions right now, I'm not sure what to do with them all. I am elated about creating and doing so much last week. The show yesterday (thanks to all who came out!) was great, I felt so honored to be included in it. The space was beautiful, the music was awesome, the people were so kind - it was such a fun time. I fear I was acting like a jerk, though. I was so nervous and felt self-conscious and felt pretty vulnerable. I've never really displayed anything quite like that in a public setting (outside of the internet!) for people to form opinions about. I was able to calm down after many of my sweet, supportive and amazing friends showed up (and my wonderful father! What a guy!). I felt protected by the familiarity and comfort of their hugs and faces. I was able to emerge from inside their circle of love once I felt a little less crazy. 

It felt so amazing to be so creatively productive over the past seven days. I not only did all of this work for the show with Christine (gem of a woman!), but lent a hand/eye/camera for a project with the lovely Miss Ashley Helvey  last weekend, which was so much fun. I'm really looking forward to the possibility of working with her again. 

Now all of the excitement is dying down a bit, and I have the time to stop and realize that tomorrow I must return to real life. I have to face that I have only two days left with Kai, and to be perfectly honest, I don't think I'm emotionally prepared for it. I've had so much time to think about it and get ready for the day - but it's impossible to process all of these feelings at once. I'm also panicking a little bit about what to do at the end of this month. I suppose now is as good of a time as ever to confess that I am not prepared to move to New York - at all - and I'm not sure that I will follow through on that plan (I will touch on this more later, and explain some of the things that go hand-in-hand with that decision). There have been so many signs that I feel are telling me to stay put right now. Lots of creative opportunities -- but I still need to find a job. Eek.

I keep wishing I could hide in last week and never come out!



12 comments:

  1. I have been a long time admirer of your work--since the LJ days! I was wondering if any of your pieces are for sale! I would love to purchase some of your marvelous work. I'm kind of in a collecting art kind of phase. 

    ReplyDelete
  2. They will be soon! I have to get everything set up online, find a printer that I am really confident in and get all the other kinks worked out. I'll be posting about it sometime in the next couple of weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alyson, I thought your show was lovely. You weren't being anything even remotely like a jerk. You guys did such a great job. Congratulations! And good luck with this tough upcoming week

    ReplyDelete
  4. hope you find the inspiration

    ReplyDelete
  5. i just discovered your little blog and love it! your aesthetic is so nice.
    good luck with your move to nyc! i am sure you are in the know but i am happy to provide any recommendations about fun places to go and things to do after your arrival in the big city!
    best,
    leigh
    leighpatterson1@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Caitlin, you're the best. It made me so happy to have you there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you, and thanks for saying hello!

    I actually don't think I am moving to NY, but in case I change my mind or an opportunity arises, I will look forward to your recommendations. It's a huge city, and although I know of many great places, I am certain there are plenty more to discover!

    ReplyDelete
  8. eep, i guess i didn't read this post closely enough. my mistake!
    hope you find peace amid the uncertainty in your decision-making ahead. 

    ReplyDelete
  9. that little show looks terrific. i wish i could see the prints closer.  I would have definitely gone. i tried to go to all the student art shows when i was at school and they were always pretty fun. first shows are weird, i hear you. i've still only ever had just one. i'm happy to hear that yours seemed to go pretty well.  :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I appreciate it, Leigh. Thank you! I think I'm starting to figure things out and I'm getting pretty excited about it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks Luke! It was pretty great. I'm still soaking up the good feelings from that day. 

    ReplyDelete