ohmylamb

I spent the entire weekend alone. I thought I would be bored and lonely, but it turned out to be quite nice. 

I spent Sunday morning wandering my neighborhood in the sunshine. I found a darling apartment that felt like a quaint little cottage. It had lots of rooms and was full of daylight, had perfect views of Lake Union and downtown from the bedroom and kitchen. I instantly wished I were sitting  at my little blue table by the kitchen window, with strawberries and lemonade on a lazy summer afternoon.  There was a little hidden courtyard with stone pathways, old wooden benches, spring flowers ready to bloom and tall friendly trees (trees can feel friendly, don't you think?). It filled me with such nice, cozy feelings. I immediately felt as though, with very little effort, I could make it my new home. 

New beginnings! I am eager, happy and hopeful. 

procrastinate

© Alyson Sharon Redding 2009

Bad headache. So sleepy. I don't want to draw anymore.

knowledge

After a very late night (sleep over with Caety!), an emotionally exhausting morning, and a short but sweet visit with my marmy & dad, I plunked down at home with a stack of books, a pencil to make notes, and a cup of licorice tea.

I am feeling intellectually challenged lately & have found a lot of books to bury myself in. I thought while driving home in the rain today about maybe taking a class or two, but unfortunately right now, that's not economically plausible. So I will just have to educate myself instead.

It is not far from 1:30 in the morning. I should be asleep.

sister

andhra pradesh

Crossing my fingers.

little chris

I have not written about Christiana or John in a long time. After they left last year, I didn't hear much from them. I've tried to keep in touch, but it has been difficult for them, I think. Their lives have been so unstable since leaving, and even before when they were here, everything was a mess.

John wrote me this morning. Things are not going well in Jakarta. He cannot get work and therefore can't afford to keep Chris in school. Although, I don't even know that she is in school now, or if she ever has been. I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't been in school for over a year. He said that they will probably have to come back to the States again soon, but that his family has ignored every attempt he has made to contact them. This means they have nowhere to go upon arriving back in Seattle.

I hate this situation & have ever since I met them. It breaks my heart that Chris is so young and helpless and has to rely on her father who is almost as helpless as she is. He is all that she has, and nobody is going to give him a job. He's too old and too unhealthy. I am really concerned about both of them. Without any hesitation at all, I would be more than happy to have Christiana live with me until John could figure out a stable life and home for her. I'm sure my nanny mom wouldn't mind if she came with me to watch Kai, and I know my parents would be more than willing to help John.

I wish so much that I was financially capable to provide more for her, but at this point in my life there's just no way that I can. I cannot wait to see her again, though. I know it would be very trying to play mommy for a while, but I want to be there for her. I feel such a sense of responsibility for her, and really care for her so, so much.

Uggghh. This makes me so sad.

For reference:

john & christiana

christiana & me

big baby

I was a big time grump today. After work I crawled into bed with a bad headache and bad attitude. I felt better after two naps, two brownies, list making (list title: good things to focus on), letter writing, paper weaving & swedish pancakes.

Tomorrow is a paid holiday for me! I plan to bake cookies - a special new recipe invention for Chris, spend some much needed time with my sister and work on my book a bit.


I've been thinking about it a lot and have decided, I would like to go to India.

circus pup

I am writing a book. I have been working on it for several weeks. It is going to be about circus bears, life, love, broken hearts and broken paws, hope, friendship, roller skates and dreams. Every day something new pops into my head, which makes it a little difficult sometimes to stick to the plot.

I am very excited about it.

days like this

At Cal Anderson Park last summer.

I am ready for winter to be over and spring to begin. I am ready for walks to the park without having to wear a coat and hat. I am ready for sandals and dresses and picnics. I am ready for freckles that hide when the sun is away, watermelon and impromptu swims with my sister. I am ready for iced soy lattes with lots of honey that drips over the ice into delicious globs at the bottom of the cup. I am ready for warmth, breezy naps and blueberry picking.

Summers in Seattle are so much fun. Last summer was a dream. Looking back now, I realize how lovely my life has been since moving into this apartment. So many new friends, new discoveries, new wisdom and new feelings.

I am excited for what the next seasons bring.

I feel happy.

timing

You have helped my heart in so many ways.


I miss you so much already.