sister

andhra pradesh

Crossing my fingers.

little chris

I have not written about Christiana or John in a long time. After they left last year, I didn't hear much from them. I've tried to keep in touch, but it has been difficult for them, I think. Their lives have been so unstable since leaving, and even before when they were here, everything was a mess.

John wrote me this morning. Things are not going well in Jakarta. He cannot get work and therefore can't afford to keep Chris in school. Although, I don't even know that she is in school now, or if she ever has been. I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't been in school for over a year. He said that they will probably have to come back to the States again soon, but that his family has ignored every attempt he has made to contact them. This means they have nowhere to go upon arriving back in Seattle.

I hate this situation & have ever since I met them. It breaks my heart that Chris is so young and helpless and has to rely on her father who is almost as helpless as she is. He is all that she has, and nobody is going to give him a job. He's too old and too unhealthy. I am really concerned about both of them. Without any hesitation at all, I would be more than happy to have Christiana live with me until John could figure out a stable life and home for her. I'm sure my nanny mom wouldn't mind if she came with me to watch Kai, and I know my parents would be more than willing to help John.

I wish so much that I was financially capable to provide more for her, but at this point in my life there's just no way that I can. I cannot wait to see her again, though. I know it would be very trying to play mommy for a while, but I want to be there for her. I feel such a sense of responsibility for her, and really care for her so, so much.

Uggghh. This makes me so sad.

For reference:

john & christiana

christiana & me

big baby

I was a big time grump today. After work I crawled into bed with a bad headache and bad attitude. I felt better after two naps, two brownies, list making (list title: good things to focus on), letter writing, paper weaving & swedish pancakes.

Tomorrow is a paid holiday for me! I plan to bake cookies - a special new recipe invention for Chris, spend some much needed time with my sister and work on my book a bit.


I've been thinking about it a lot and have decided, I would like to go to India.

circus pup

I am writing a book. I have been working on it for several weeks. It is going to be about circus bears, life, love, broken hearts and broken paws, hope, friendship, roller skates and dreams. Every day something new pops into my head, which makes it a little difficult sometimes to stick to the plot.

I am very excited about it.

days like this

At Cal Anderson Park last summer.

I am ready for winter to be over and spring to begin. I am ready for walks to the park without having to wear a coat and hat. I am ready for sandals and dresses and picnics. I am ready for freckles that hide when the sun is away, watermelon and impromptu swims with my sister. I am ready for iced soy lattes with lots of honey that drips over the ice into delicious globs at the bottom of the cup. I am ready for warmth, breezy naps and blueberry picking.

Summers in Seattle are so much fun. Last summer was a dream. Looking back now, I realize how lovely my life has been since moving into this apartment. So many new friends, new discoveries, new wisdom and new feelings.

I am excited for what the next seasons bring.

I feel happy.

timing

You have helped my heart in so many ways.


I miss you so much already.

oh bebe

I have a boyfriend. He likes me a lot, even though I have big teeth. I like him a lot, even though he has none.

sunny sunday

I woke up this morning & the sun was shining so brightly through our bedroom window. Claire, Ashley and I spent the day taking full advantage of the sunshine. We had coffee and almond croissants at Joe Bar for breakfast. There was a sweet but sad little doggy sitting alone outside. He was so darling, I wanted to take him home with me. Then we went to the Fremont Flea Market where I bought a new kitchen table, linens and a comfy men's shirt. Once I set it all up at home with my also new red chairs, it felt as though I had a whole new kitchen. So exciting! Then we packed a picnic lunch and went to Lynn Street Beach where we sang songs, fed the ducks and took a lot of pictures. Claire went home and Ashley and I got straight to work on our dinner for Evan. He is such a wonderful person. It was a lovely, lovely evening. Now Claire is back, sleeping on our floor - our third sleep over this week!


Today was like a warm, beautiful reminder of why (despite all hardships, but also because of them) I love my life. I wish it never had to end.

my mister knightley

Tonight Ashley & I made Chocolate Molten Cakes (with vanilla ice cream, of course!) and enjoyed them very much while watching Emma. They were so rich that we couldn't finish them, but so, so yummy!

I have watched so many Jane Austen films amongst other period films over the past few weeks. I have found myself wanting to always break into an English accent and refer to everyone by their last names with the appropriate title, Mr., Miss or Mrs., before them. Ashley thinks that the best part of the movie is when my emotions get the best of me and I end up in tears. She finds it to be extremely funny and never fails to point out what a sap I am. During Little Women last week, in the scene where Beth dies, I completely fell apart. She started laughing at me when in between sobs I managed to stammer, "Why... Aren't... You... Crying!?!" This sensitivity can be blamed on our mother who obviously passed that trait onto me. She cries over everything. Even though I always end up being made fun of by her, my sister is still my favorite person to watch those movies with. We were raised watching them with all the other girls in our family and will forever remind me of my Gramma, Mama & Auntie Lisa. Very sweet memories.