minor misgivings

Here I am, stress eating a watermelon.

After making my incredibly public announcement the other night, I laid awake in bed in a complete panic. Moving to New York is no longer a fantasy whispered over great distances between my sister and I - it's a reality now, and as soon as I said it out loud I started to have my doubts. Do I really want to lose my beautiful apartment? Won't I go crazy without having my own space? When will I ever get to be alone!?* Am I going to regret leaving all of my wonderful friends? And my family? What will I do without my beloved Gramma!?

All of these things are very real and very valid questions to be asking myself. However important all of them are to me, I know that I cannot and should not let them keep me here. I love my family and friends more than anything - but they will forever be close to my heart no matter where I am. I should also remind myself of the handful of friends, including my sister, that are already abiding in the big city. I won't be isolated or lonely, and that is certainly a great comfort.

All doubts aside, this will be an adventure that I am excited to embark on. The unknown of what's ahead makes my heart quicken. Thank you to all of you for your sweet and encouraging words! I am so looking forward to the possibility of the new friendships that could blossom from this little spot on the internet.



*I paused for a moment after fretting over this one in particular and puffed up with pride, for this concern came to me so naturally and quickly. Certainly not something that would have crossed my mind, or that I would have valued so deeply many months ago. I sure hope this new quality/ability cannot be lost! I've worked so hard to acquire it.

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On a completely unrelated note...
He did it!

onward & upward

I have been eluding to the desire to leave Seattle for a long while. Various dreams and possibilities have been skipping around my mind, which you know, because I have been voicing them pretty frequently here, although a bit vaguely. I am confident enough now in this decision I have come to that I feel I can and should announce it here, if not for any other reason than to make sure that there's an audience of people holding me accountable! 

Sometime in the fall - probably September, I will be migrating to the east coast, where I will join my sister in New York City, New York. This may be temporary, or it may be a little more permanent - I am not sure quite yet, there are a few different factors I am still sorting out which will decide that for me. All I know is that it's time for a change of scenery; I do enough/too much complaining about my habitat. I've been trying to put my life back together for the past nine months by making baby-steps and now it's time to start making bigger strides. I think relocating to a place where I can get a fresh start and a new perspective on my life is a good place to begin. 

All this to say that I have a lot of stuff to get rid of (and a lot of money that I still need to save up for the move... I will begrudgingly admit that it's probably to my benefit that my Rachel Comey clog dream didn't come true). I am hoping to clean out roughly three-quarters of my closet and only keep the basics, the bare necessities*. To begin I'd like to sell items here, which is something I have tried before, albeit pretty lazily. I will be selling some new things, a couple by the likes of A.P.C., Mociun, etc., but mostly nice, gently used vintage clothes and shoes.

Photographing, measuring and posting everything can take up the better half of a day, so I may not get to this for a couple of weeks - but if you trust my taste, if you would please spread the word to your friends when the time comes so that this can be as successful as possible. I may even throw in a few little gifts or something! I have no idea what those would be, but I'm sure I'll come up with some sort of nice perk. 

For whatever reason, it seems appropriate now to get a little sappy and mention how much I love keeping my blog, and how each of you make it all the  more special to me. Journaling has always been something I found that I needed to do - I have somewhere near 20 of them packed full from my teens and early twenties. It's a form of therapy and creative expression for me. Marmunia for a long time now has been a special place where I can document things of importance in my life. There have been many ups and downs since I first wrote here, and being able to send my thoughts and feelings out into a big, unknown space has been extremely necessary for me at times. There may only be a handful who comment, but I know (because my super sneaky stat counter tells me so!) that there are many, many more of you reading - and that means so much to me. The support and friendship you continuously offer (some for years and years, which never fails to shock me) makes my heart so glad. Thank you for being here, whether you are silent or not.


Ps. Don't mind the semi-creepy baby things in my closet, just remnants of my childhood!


*Now I have "The Bear Necessities" stuck in my head. What a great song, though!

circa 1985

Funny slides of me as a tiny tot.

four days

Early Friday morning I will be sleep walking onto the train, which will speed down the tracks and deliver me to my one and only, Anastasia. Good gosh, I cannot wait! It's been eight months since I last saw her face. I often find myself wondering what her hair looks like these days. I will return home on Sunday, and then it is the Fourth of July. Where has this year gone? 

The clogs and top I was so excited for, even though I received an order confirmation, are out of stock. Of course nobody at Creatures could take the time to inform me of this, so five days later I had to find out myself when I called to inquire about why I hadn't received any sort of note that they had been shipped. What a terrible system. This is the second time this has happened with Creatures of Comfort. I'll have to remember never to order from them again. 

So disappointing. :( I was dreaming daily about slipping those clogs onto my feet. 

Maybe this was the universe's way of shaking it's finger at me.

surroundings

I just spent the evening with a long lost friend, sitting on the rooftop of a building with the most gorgeous views of Seattle. It's too easy to forget how beautiful this city is when all of its wonder constantly hides behind a heavy grey blanket. After a clear and sunny day, the familiar clouds began to sneak back in, but all of the mountains that lay to the east and the west were still visible.  I could not stop thinking, Geeze this place is amazing! (I wish these pictures did it justice.) 

Nevertheless, I am ready to find a new place to call home for a while. I think New York might be that place for a few months, and then perhaps a small town in Germany, or maybe various places throughout the South of France and Spain. 

I have some rather big decisions to make ahead of me. Once I know which of them is the right one, I will tell you all about it. 

the summer of 2009

This was the best summer of my life (so far). Full of heat & sunshine, my favorite ladies, love letters, daily swims and ice cream cones - it couldn't have been dreamier! Is it asking too much to be wishing for those things again?

in the sun

 We were lucky to have one beautiful, warm day (70s!) this week. The boys, donned in sun hats and 60 SPF, and myself spent the entirety of it on the back deck playing cars, eating watermelon, listening to the Beach Boys and occasionally reading Frost's poetry aloud. They were not too interested in the latter, although Asher would have happily eaten it (the book).

How many times have I said this? I am in love with them - and I have the best job.

look & listen

One morning not too long ago, a friend and I shared a waffle with apple smoked bacon, brie and basil at the Ridgeback Cafe. I had Asher with me (Kai was at school), and my priorities included collecting binkis and rattles when we were preparing to leave, rather than my own belongings - so inevitably, I forgot my phone on the table. I wasn't aware that Bryan was there too, just as I wasn't aware that I had left my phone. He, however, did notice and chased me down the sidewalk to return it to me. So now in a way, I am returning his kind favor by sharing him with you. 

I don't know Bryan well, but we share several mutual friends; he is an acquaintance whose reputation surpasses him. He also happens to be a rather talented musician. So, if you watched that video and you care to help make a struggling artist's dreams come true, then you can donate any amount you like on his Kickstarter page. Alternatively, you can support him by purchasing his camera. Before you do either of those things, though, you should now do yourself a favor and take a listen to his music.

whoopsies

Creatures of Comfort is having a sale. I couldn't help myself.

I am supposed to be saving for traveling, so when my sister sees this I am going to get into so much trouble. Below are descriptions of my purchases, followed by my planned rebuttal for when she scolds me. 

Lone Clog by Rachel Comey (but I've wanted them for so long! And I even included them in a packing list for traveling once!)

L/S Striped Tee by A.P.C. (but it's a classic piece! I'll wear it forever!)

Ah, wait! I thought of one more: But they are my early birthday present to myself!*

*This is totally fair! My birthday is in exactly 3 weeks. Make that 2 weeks - ack! I have been an entire week behind - how did that happen?!

a confession

I picked my neighbor's flowers - one thing I distinctly remember being instructed not to do as a child. These peonies are so beautiful, I just couldn't pass them by. I feel a slight twinge of guilt when I turn to admire them. Surely the keepers of their garden will never notice... There were plenty of other blooms left.

Does it make it worse that I took them in the dark?

the art of chelsea bentley james

I was adding a few more good reads to my blogroll today when I discovered a gem; really lovely landscapes by Chelsea Bentley James. 

1. Rose Colored Sky

2. Rain is Coming Soon

3. Deep

http://chelseabjames.blogspot.com/

here's to "geedo"

For a man who once said he never wanted children*, he sure has been an incredible father. I simply adore him.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

*He confessed this to me once a long time ago, but cringes and denies it when I remind him of it now.

new york: film

Very few of my photos turned out to be any good from the disposable I brought with me to New York. Oh, what a pity! This makes me look forward even more to the new camera that I will have to be so patient for.

ooh-ahh

Rachel Comey, Resort 2012

snap happy

I am proud to share that the other day, I won my very first ebay item ever, a Canon AV-1. I never expect to win the things I bid on, and I am rarely competitive enough to dedicate myself to sitting at my computer in order to be sure that I do. This one I didn't have to try very hard for. In fact, it was a bit of an accident. Nevertheless, I am excited for it to arrive. It is shipping all the way from Bulgaria (that was the accident) though, so it may be a while.

I do not know much about this model. Actually, I do not know anything about it. I chose it simply because I have been so attracted to the images on Miss Little Lime, and after doing some clicking around discovered that this particular Canon model is one that she often uses. I hope that with some practice, my photos will turn out to be just as lovely as hers. Film just has such a special and beautiful quality that digital does not.

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On Monday, I mentioned that little Kai was undergoing a tonsillectomy and an adenoidectomy. The surgery went well and after a night in the hospital, he came home looking quite droopy and puffy faced. Despite the pain he is in, he's being a very brave little boy and doesn't complain hardly at all. We've been taking it easy this week by burying ourselves in books and snuggling on the couch. As I write this, he is asleep on my lap. Thanks to those of you who kept him in your thoughts and sent him well wishes. 

Images by Miss Little Lime.

un pensée

Just returned from catching Midnight in Paris with my friend, Maya. After all of the charming Parisian talk about rain, walking home in the heavy mist felt so romantic...

And that's about the only time you'll ever hear me say something like that these days!

a petty plight

Sadly, this lovely suit didn't work out. I sulked about it for a week, and now I am trying to decide between these two instead. This is my dilemma: The Bodkin suit (left) is half the price of the Lover one, however I do like the Lover one about twice as much. The question is, will it be worth it, when here it is mid-June and all we have is doom and gloom around these parts still/always?

Probably not, right? I think I just answered my own question, but some extra help would be nice. Your thoughts, please!

1. Twist Halter One Piece, Bodkin, $157.50

2. Underwire One Piece, Lover, $312

Ps. I've been making a few minor changes around here. I now have a blogroll page up, and soon I will make a little 'about me' section.